I am lonely because nothing is real
Everyone, everything is a copy of what used to be.
Words bounce against me, visions blur past
You were my reality and now that you’ve left me
I’m an insomniac, everything is a dream.
I smell you, I see you, I feel you.
You aren’t there but you’re my only reality.
Pierced by a thousand needles,
Scorched with a thousand matches,
I feel no pain. I feel nothing.
I am dead – living, breathing in this false world today.
I have no purpose, nothing matters anymore.
They say I am deranged
They’ve thrown me in a room full of my ‘peers’
But company matters little with this sort of misery
The misery of being caught in the middle
I am not here right now
I am stuck in that scary space between euphoria and dysphoria
Too weak to claw myself towards either destination.
The suffocation of ambiguity hurts but doesn’t kill
My mind is numb, yet far from peaceful
I need closure.
Away from the realm of reality, I must find you in the spiritual world.
I must take this leap of faith.
Goodbye world.
Kabir's Blog 